I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
