we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
