THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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