And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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