PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
