That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
