I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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