do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
