He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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