Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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