That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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