As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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