Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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