Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
