WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
