I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
