U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize