Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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