the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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