Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
