Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
