I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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