Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
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Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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