we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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