The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
