You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
