and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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