I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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