Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
