I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize