Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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