He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
