She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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