its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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