Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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