I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
