so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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