It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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