My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
