i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
