before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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