Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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