are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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