I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
