Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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