some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
