I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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