I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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