I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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