Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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