I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
