All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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