I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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