I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Your cock deserves a montage
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
