stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
