U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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