Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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