He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
