The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
