i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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