oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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