Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize