I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
