Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
